BECOME SOMEBODY. DON'T FIND SOMEBODY.

I’ll be the first to admit it… I love love.

I think it all began back in 4th grade when I had my very first crush on the cutest boy in school, Scott. In an attempt to try and impress him I participated in a rousing game of kickball at recess (This was obviously my first mistake… I did musical theatre in high school - we’ll just leave it at that.) He was the pitcher and when my turn came I kicked that ball with everything I had in me. Slight hiccup in my master plan: I ended up kicking the ball right in his face and BREAKING HIS NOSE (I honestly wish I was exaggerating so as to make this post more entertaining but unfortunately this is the God’s honest truth). 

Needless to say our love affair was short-lived considering he pretty much avoided me at all costs until we graduated… from high school. Although my interest in him eventually faded, my interest in love did not. Throughout most of my life I have either been in a relationship, “talking” to someone (more on my opinions about that horrible, cop-out of a phrase at a later time), or wishing I were doing one of the two aforementioned. I was never happy just being single. I loved love, and I wanted it. 

I was recently watching TLC’s hit show “Four Weddings” and had an a-ha! moment. The recently married bride, beaming, looked into the camera and exclaimed, “Today is the first day of the rest of my life”. I’m not sure why but this really irked me. I wanted to shake her and say “Your life started 20-something years ago the day you were born!”

It made me realize that as a society, we are constantly viewing marriage or being in love as the goal. Nowadays it is almost impossible not to have love at the forefront of our minds. We live in a culture that is extremely couple-driven. Almost every song on the radio is either about the pursuit of sex or love, ad campaigns are constantly depicting couples and families, and relationship–based television and movies fill our everyday lives, all for the purpose of telling us that the objective of life is to find the “one”. Sometimes, even implying that something is “wrong” with you if you haven’t yet. I’m here to tell you it’s a lie.

There’s this stereotype that once we’re in a relationship we will be happy and everything will magically fall into place for us. The trouble is, that is simply not the truth. If you’re depending on one single person to bring you all of your happiness, it’s only a matter of time until they let you down.

Not being in a relationship does not mean that you’re failing at life; it simply means that you’re choosing a different approach to enjoying it. People forget that being single is one of the most important parts of your journey of life, and an even more important part of the journey toward marriage. The time is meant to be enjoyed and used wisely, not spent comparing yourself, or yearning to be with someone. It is not a waiting room. Become somebody. Don’t find somebody.

“God is not preoccupied with whether or not you find a girlfriend or boyfriend. God is preoccupied with how far you are on the journey of becoming the person he dreamed up when he created you. The worst thing that could ever happen is not being alone… it is not reaching your full potential.” –Louie Giglio

Loyally,

J