MAKING IT UP AS WE GO

Last week, my coworker and I were working from a noisy breakfast shop. It smelled of maple syrup and coffee and forks clanged on ceramic plates as we typed away at our computers. I tapped my foot on the clean, black and white checked floor as Adam Levine sang about having moves like Jagger. 

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There was a group of college girls sitting at the table next to us. They snapped selfies drinking coffee, their faces half covered by the big white mugs. They discussed wedding plans animatedly. Would their weddings be in a church? Yes, unless, of course, they decided to do a destination wedding. If it was in a church, they already knew which one - it was beautiful and just down the road from where we are. But, ah, the allure of the beach.

I smiled as I listened, checking quickly to ensure their were no engagement rings on their hands. You could have dropped my college friends and me right at the table and the conversation wouldn't have missed a beat. 

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Well it has to be in Atlanta, I would have said. Probably the church I grew up in. Though the beach does sound beautiful. But would you want your dress to get sandy? 

As I listened to them, I felt fondly reminiscent. Not for college, but for the naivety of being 20, when the idea of considering anything beyond my small bubble of dreams was foreign.

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They were so far from considering the fact that they might have fiancés who’d have an opinion on their weddings. Or that over the next decade, they might fall in love with a new city, in which they were dying to be wed. Or, even more foreign, that they might be called to something else entirely, deciding not to get married at all.

I thought of myself at 20, so certain of who I was and what I wanted. And although it feels like those days are gone, only a thing of the past, it hit me that I’m sort of in them now, too.

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We all have big plans for the type of people we will be. We talk about how we’ll be once we’re parents. What we’d do once we’re the boss. How our marriage is going to operate.

We're really not all that different than those girls, just trying to make the best plans we can with the little information we have.

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I sipped my coffee as I looked up at them watching videos from the night before, clad with red solo cups. My coworker leaned over to ask if I was ready to interview a potential summer intern and I smiled at the circuitousness of it all.

We don't know what we don't know, do we? But maybe, that naive confidence is just what keeps this kind world spinning.

Loyally,
J

Photos: Garrett Lobaugh Photography

Inspiration: Sometimes Always Never